Gul Khan is falling down
One of the first things the present Khyber Pakhtunkhwa government did after assuming power on April 1, 2008 was to write a letter to the Federal Minister for Information. The subject matter was lucid and convincing: please help put a stop to the continuous portrayal of Pakhtuns as stupid-looking domestic servants and ill-bred watchmen.
The missive also found its way to the newspapers, but it did not have the desired impact. That was really unfortunate. With the inimitable journalist turned politician, Sherry Rehman, then sanguinely settled as the Minister for Information, greater respect had been expected to be accorded to the written word. Three years later Pakhtuns continue to be the favourite idiots of the drama directors on radio, television, stage and now even the cell phones.
Pakhtuns, together with Sikhs, are the butt of every second joke on the cell phone. It is perhaps owing to the great sense of humour that prevails in the Pakhtun milieu that the jokes are not only enjoyed by the victims but the same are forwarded further down the line. It also goes on to show that Pakhtun culture is vibrant enough to withstand pun bandied about in good taste.
However in a lot many cases these days, pun directed against the Pakhtuns seems to be crossing the line that divides humour from vulgarity. Some of the jokes previously attributed to other communities have been retailored in such a manner so as to hit at the Pakhtuns below the belt.
One such joke doing the rounds is to the effect that a Pakhtun lost in a reverie suddenly gets livid and jumps down from his 15th storey apartment after an acquaintance alarms him by saying, ‘Gul Khan, your daughter has run away.’ During his downward journey, the Pathan, as Pakhtuns are generally so called, keeps recollecting that he has no daughter and that he is not even married and finally before touching the ground he realizes that his name is not Gul Khan. The main character in the original joke was a Sikh.
In scores of other cases that present examples of grotesque tempering Gul Khan is shown replacing fellows from other communities. The editors, however, must be pitied for their poor knowledge of the Pakhtun way of life and cultural mores since Gul Khan fits in none of their perceived settings or designs.
Humour is an essential part of a Pakhtun’s way of life particularly in the rural areas. The Pakhtun folklore across the province is full of brief and long anecdotes that keep traveling since quite some time and are related with an unrestrained relish. When in a cheerful or particularly satirical mood, Pakhtuns, notably elderly folks, spare neither the village khan, nor the mullah and not even their artisans. Pashto speaking Hindus who inhabit Charsadda, Peshawar, and Buner and Swat areas in fairly reasonable number have also been the subject matter of numerous jokes.
The mere fact that mullah figures in so many of those oft repeated jokes points to the former’s position in the traditional Pakhtun society as it once prevailed and in no small measure to the present friction where the clergy is seen to be vying to rise to the ruling or decision making stratum. In his former role a mullah could still be seen trying to curry the favours of the village’s khan by singing the latter’s praises at his hujra whenever the situation warrants but especially on the occasion of funeral prayers. In his newer and unremittingly gruesome role, the mullah in his variously defined hierarchical positions as qari and mufti could be observed engaged in an internecine struggle to assert his authority.
In all this post 9/11fracas seeds of which had been planted in the mid nineties, the image of the Pakhtun as a decent fun loving member of the world community has been grossly distorted by painting him as Taliban. Nothing could be farther from truth than to call a Pakhtun a Taliban. A Pakhtun is so fundamentally cheerful that his whole being is surrounded in entertainment. In which other world culture we have a guesthouse in the shape of a ‘hujra’ for men which has its doors open for guests round the clock and where evenings are invariably spent to the soft nostalgic music of rabab?
Again which other primitive or contemporary culture has a waltz like ‘attan,’ primarily a Pashtun male dance but equally popular among women folk? ‘The first thing I am going to do after my knee surgery is to attend to my ‘attan,’ Ziaul Qamar, the flamboyant old Edwardian professor of English could be heard telling his admirers.
There are no fewer braggadocios among Pakhtuns either. These fellows could provide enough substance to the present day stand up comedians to last them a full tenure. One such former parliamentarian from the tribal area of Bara recently announced that he had the necessary technology to manufacture unmanned drone aircraft and was only awaiting government sanction to proceed further. A tribal gentleman caring for the niceties of a license is something that one could laugh about for an indefinite period of time.
But keeping the world in good humour alone would not stop Gul Khan’s imminent fall. Gul Khan is implacably trapped. This week’s TIME carries a two page picture of a demonstration in Quetta against Osama’s killing. The protesters are all Pashtun, and perhaps all seminary recruits. Oh, God! So much needs to be done to turn the tide: education, skill, rehabilitation and so on.
